Nation Elects First Openly Drunk Senator
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Small Town's UFO Scare Revealed To Be Alien Hoax (Season 1: Ep 8 on IFC)
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Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House
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The Onion Looks Back At ‘The Birds’
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Adjusting Several Sliders On Recording Studio’s Mixing Console Pays Off Big Time
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Sale Of BET To White Supremacist Group Results In No Changes To Programming
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Glenn Beck Appears In Revealing Documentary About Brooke Alvarez's Childhood As Russian Cosmonaut
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Devastated Family Struggling To Cope After Losing Everything On DVR
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GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men
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Brooke Alvarez Tells You How to Look Good for the End of the World
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Press Secretary's 'Zumtrel Flooby' Answer Attempt To Evade Question
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Lawmaker's War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Road Bill Passed
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Man Keeps Memory Of Dead Teen Alive By Making Her Center Of Elaborate Political Conspiracy Theory
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Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads
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Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone
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Cop Explains How It Feels To Live Every Day In Fear Someone Might Record You Brutalizing A Civilian
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Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook
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New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick
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Mitt Romney Graciously Accepts Thing He Has Paid Millions Of Dollars For
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Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars
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Last Bastion Of U.S. Economy Succumbs To Pancreatic Cancer
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Cutest Guy In Whole Office Not Even Particularly Attractive
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Was LeBron Too Hard On His Teammates When He Called Them ‘Shitheads Who Should Quit Basketball’?
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The Onion Reviews ‘Pet Sematary’
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Group Of Hunky Cardinals Appeals To Pope To Relax Celibacy Requirement
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After Weeks Of Media Pressure, Shia LaBeouf Still Refusing To Have Public Meltdown
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Cheap, Clean Natural Gas: Earth's One Good Feature - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 6
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This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof
/r/TheOnion