Now that's how you get someone to stop talking
/r/TheOnion
Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
/r/TheOnion
Man Didn't Expect Sex With Prostitute Would Be So Emotionally Fulfilling
/r/TheOnion
Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport
/r/TheOnion
Diary Entries Reveal Ben Franklin’s Kite Experiment Was Early Attempt At Erotic Electrostimulation
/r/TheOnion
Trump Explains Why Lying is Good then Pretends He Doesn't All the Time
/r/TheOnion
An Honest Take on Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Life and the Trivial Effects of Her Death
/r/TheOnion
Huge Quantities Of Primo Sh*t Incinerated By Feds
/r/TheOnion
Trump Accepts Offer for Presidential Debate on Joe Rogan's Podcast- Will Biden Accept?
/r/TheOnion
Zoologists Thrilled After Successfully Getting Pair Of Bengal Tigers To 69 In Captivity
/r/TheOnion
Bee, Man Allergic To Bees Found Dead In Apparent Murder-Suicide
/r/TheOnion
The Onion Reviews ‘Mulan’
/r/TheOnion
New Identification App Lets Hikers Categorize All Corpses They Encounter On Nature Trail
/r/TheOnion
Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into Medical Debt
/r/TheOnion
NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun
/r/TheOnion
'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film
/r/TheOnion
Nation’s CEOs Sign Pledge To Continue F**king Over Americans
/r/TheOnion
Animator Misses The Birth Of His Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Penis Bulge
/r/TheOnion
Prison Guards Gun Down Inmate Trying To Escape Jail Through Transportive Power Of Reading
/r/TheOnion
YesTheOnion
/r/TheOnion
Victoria’s Secret Closes After Concluding Women Were Never Hot Enough To Wear Their Underwear
/r/TheOnion