MRW my friend asks me how I am able to give handjobs to ghosts
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MRW I'm at a baseball game and someone asks me how our team is doing but I don't understand how to read the scoreboard
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MRW someone complains that their brother keeps subtlety giving them the middle finger
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When she starts chewing your dick but you like it
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When your waiter forgets the buffalo wings
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MRW I'm heading into town on my new donkey and pass a thief riding my old stolen one.
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MRW my electricity goes out during a storm
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MRW I'm 8 and and my Mom unhooks the PS2 and grounds me from it for throwing a temper tantrum.
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When you didn't prepare anything for your cakeday so you're just mad at yourself
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MRW I make a guest appearance on Sesame Street
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MRW someone tosses me some balls that are really hot, but I can't drop them and I foolishly wore my extra large belt and bracelets while riding my broken skateboard
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When my ejaculate travels several metres upon orgasm and my wife asks if I've been taking zinc supplements
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Mrw I tell my friend to put on a Brit Pop playlist but he puts on a Jarvis Cocker playlist and asks why I'm mad
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MRW I can't digest sugar
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When mommy treats me to an extra helping of chicken tendies so I don't throw the piss jugs at her new chad boyfriend
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MRW I go from looking at the rug on my floor that makes me happy to the cursed rug that makes me surprised
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MRW I'm trying to pose for cameras but the flashes hurt my eyes so I have to put in my special contacts
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MRW I can't pronounce the letter T but my sister Jan is doing a crossword and asks what is a five letter word for an article of clothing you wear that covers your chest
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MRW it's raining on Halloween night and I just got my candy stolen from a clown.
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MRW I go to a costume party dressed as bird poo and can't find the zipper when it's over
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MRW me and my boi drank a whole bottle of cough syrup, while watching the live action aladdin movie.
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MRW just after hitting my head, I suddenly think I have Kirby powers and subtlety try and suck in microscopic organisms in hopes I'd become something unheard of, only to choke on a fly.
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MRW my GPS app finishes loading, and my normal route looks solid red
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MRW I have to represent myself in court even though I’m in the wrong game
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MRW my old friend asks me if I'll tell them how my life after retirement went.
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When you're trying to complete your spaghetti craft project and your friend is annoyingly asking you for the answer to "12 Down: Queen and David Bowie's hit collaboration was 'Under …'?"
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MRW my post gets to rising, but dies there
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MRW the entire dead raccoon population was wrongfully admitted through the gates of heaven and it's my job to fix this
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MRW it's the first day back to work after my broken dick surgery
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MRW someone asks me to quote one of Billie Eilish's most famous songs in the form of a question.
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