MRW I agree to partake in my wife's Superman diaper fantasy
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MRW When The Apocalypse Is Racist
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MRW I'm late for dinner because the party store had a sale on cardboard cutouts of Patrick Stewart.
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MRW I’m from Alphabetrium and my Partner L is imprisoned and I’m hiring Word who is known to be the best on the planet for any heist to save my friend from his confinement.
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MRW I finally catch the invisible flying electric eel before my friend is able to catch it in his mouth
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MRW Michael Jordan will finance my NASCAR team, but only if I have an African-American driver.
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When you give $5 to a streamer
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Me trying to cuddle my girlfriend who is prone to bouts of sleepwalking and dreams about line dancing.
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MRW I meet that one Flash Game Platformer character with the orange pants, and white spiky hair
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MRW I’m a lion trying to usurp the throne from my brother
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Mfw I realize that vinegar and baking soda is a poor mouthwash substitute.
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MRW some damn fool accuses me of being the best
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MFW I'm trying to finish my boba tea and all the tapioca pearls are at the bottom
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Me 2 hours after eating taco bell
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my TMJ every morning when I yawn
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Me leaving the renaissance fair after-party after finishing the last of my cocaine.
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When there is that sudden and unexpected silence and everybody can hear me whispering to my classmate “dude, how can you guys masturbate using a sock, it’s too small to insert the dick !”
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MRW the group chat is vicious and I make a spelling arrow
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The interviewer when I arrive at the office for the interview and my name is Will
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MRW someone asks me to put artificial coloring into my energy drink
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MRW I am the third uncredited brother who was at Kitty Hawk trying to tell an unamused crowd of my accomplishment
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MRW I'm an anxious rabbi at a cowboy themed bris
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When you hand a vibrator to your ex-Jehova Witness girlfriend
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MRW I'm at the restaurant and I low key panic because I can't remember if I turned the oven off before leaving my house but then I suddenly remember that I did and I feel better.
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MRW I'm a male black widow spider
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MRW It’s BDSM day at the office and during the weekly meeting Angela tries complimenting our female boss and though my hands are tied I want to show her my support.
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MRW I take my girlfriend’s advice too seriously.
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mrw I tell my students to turn to page 394
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MRW I Idol Billy, so I start dancing with myself
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MRW a friend asks me why my other friend is always scratching her breasts.
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