When I accidentally launch my bananas into the pepperoni pizza black hole in the matrix
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MRW I want to show off a still-life I sketched but I'm an android who views the world in code
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MRW someone calls me a doll
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MRW I put Nicolas Cage in a time capsule set to be open on July 9th, 2120
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MRW I had to hang out my laundry on Halloween.
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MRW my friends ask me what beers are in the fridge
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MRW I live on the East Coast and uncle from overseas asks if I live close to Oklahoma.
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When she says "harder baby" when I was already going as hard as thought I possibly could but I want to make her happy because she is my wife and it is my duty to please her during the physical act of love
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MRW I'm buying everyone drinks for my birthday and my friend convinces me to stop discriminating against the creepy clown
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MRW I Bond with all the James' in town.
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MRW the final initiation for my entry into the 33rd Scottish Rite is to answer backwards a non-lethal weapon that is a "nug"
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Whenever I watch a Michael Bay film and impressed by the number of explosions he was able to fit into a love scene
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MRW I eat a bee and try to play it off like it doesn't hurt.
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MRW I was excited for the family reunion I organized at the architecture museum but only my mom's sisters showed up
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MRW I don't want to get caught smoking weed in school, so I do edibles instead.
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Me and my mothers reaction when it's time to play the no looking at the floor game
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MRW I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills; I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces.
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It's gone very gloopy
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MRW I see a model explaining the formation of our solar system
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MFW the A/C Craps Out In the Middle of This Heatwave
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MRW I'm an American fighting in the Tekken Tournament.
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MRW My wife had an "accident" so i need to call my agent to dispose of the body without any witnesses as to why there's raspberry jam all over the floor
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MRW I'm a rogue Nobel laureate and I prove in front of all Norwegia that everything they know about physics is wrong, so suck it
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MRW I get asked if I want to go to Nashville.
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MRW Someone asks me why there is a giant horsecock dildo on top of my fireplace for all to admire
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MRW my autistic brother invites his abusive, imaginary girlfriend to dinner.
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MRW the Giant that kidnapped me and my friend makes us fetch his monster condom for his magnum dong
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MRW I'm a calm and collected Beaver, but get stopped on my way to the lake.
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MRW I misinterpret Tour de France as a traveler abroad so I have to make a quick escape
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