MRW my son asks which letter comes after b.
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MRW A guy who was on the rollercoaster I work at was scared but he ended up really enjoying it. I try to high five him but he's too busy trying to figure out what brand our TVs are
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MRW I'm A Dog And Someone Keeps Throwing A Ball Over My Head
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MRW I'm suicidal and my therapist asks me what I'm trying to get out of my sudden trip to China
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MRW There Was Homicide And The Detectives Ask Me For An Alibi
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MRW Israel Nukes My City
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MRW Contracting The Coronavirus Is Inevitable But I Think My Immune System Will Win
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MRW when I hear someone claim that a wall of ice encases us because the earth is flat; and who ever denies it, follows the status quo too afraid to be vulnerable to their peers.
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MRW I just want my fuckin cheeseburger
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MRW Doctors Can't Find A Vaccine For The Coronavirus
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MRW when an old friend stops by after I get out of rehab
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MRW the boys and I are at McDonald's at 2am drunk witnessing a fight break out
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MRW I remembered that I am supposed to narrate the Wimbledon matches to a room full of blind tennis fans and I don't know anything about the sport.
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My dad's reaction every time my mom would try to talk to him, which caused her to take her pent up anxiety out on my sister and I, which caused her and I both to grow up with compromised attachment and fail at every relationship we've ever had. Thanks dad!
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MRW I'm finally home from my vacation in China
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MRW the cats stuck in the tree for the 10th time and I'm sick of getting it down
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When I get asked to identify the person who spiked my drink
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MRW I haven't seen my wife in a while
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When you playing with your dog and he gets a little too excited
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Mrw I forget the Toilet Paper in the other room
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Based on true story
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MRW I get in the shower and the water’s still cold
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MRW my wife switches us from Verizon to Sprint and the coverage sucks
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MRW I'm the US Senate Majority Leader and I hear the House Managers advocate for the introduction of witness testimony
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MRW my girlfriend is giving me a blowjob but it's not going very well so I want her to switch to a handjob.
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MRW I'm fully aroused in public, and I start thinking about baseball because I heard it helps, but then I remember that baseball does make me slightly aroused.
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MRW I'm trapped inside Bumblebee while he beats off
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MRW I’m god and I need to build a forest
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MRW I walk into an Apple Store with my Google Pixel
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MRW people say I’m ugly
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