MRW my friend and I can’t decide who gets to keep the wig we found and I’m about to say “, paper, scissors”
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MRW my organic chemistry lab partner asks me at the beginning of our experiment if I have already synthesized potassium oxide, and in my response, I accidentally say the chemical formula backwards
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MRW when I cook what I thought was a lot of spinach
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MRW my religious parents promise to buy me a car if I stay a virgin until I graduate
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MRW there's a metal plate in my head and I accidentally hit the button labelled "Magnet"
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MRW the moon is on a crash course towards earth so I try to divert it by punching it in the other direction
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My anus when I need to shit out a particularly hard poop
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MRW my wife says we're going to the in-laws for dinner
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When you're trying to turn all of Earth's oceans into coffee with creamer but a lower density liquid foils your plans.
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MRW I'm Aladdin and I lose everything but the magic carpet in the divorce.
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MRW i go to the gun range
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MRW my friend takes me to a rural area and asks me what the people use to get water, and wants me to point him in the direction of one.
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MRW I'm playing Jeopardy and the answer is a 2009 animated movie about a floating house
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MRW I've been holding it in for the entire movie and finally get to the bathroom afterwards.
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MRW Reddit won't load my fucking post even though wifi is clearly on
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MRW I tell my wife I need some wiggle room
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MRF the bidet is cranked up way to high
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MRW I'm swimming and something brushes my foot
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MRW, after being scarred for life, and having barely avoided being eaten, I join the mallow rebellion and take up the cause to help my fellow soft brethren by giving our oppressors a taste of their own medicine.
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MRW I’m playing “Systemic Oppression” with my Barbie dolls and Barbie gets accepted to a University behind Ken’s back
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MRW the bar tab is higher than I expected and I get paid next week.
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MRW I'm the world's worst boxing coach and I'm giving the pre-fight pep talk.
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MRW it's bright out but not as bright as earlier
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MRW I hit a yellow light and idk whether to brake or keep going
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MRW I'm Teddy Roosevelt in 1902 and someone asks me why I used the Sherman Anti-Trust act to break up JP Morgan's monopoly in the transportation industry
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MRW I realise my friend didn't say "you betch-your ass theres-a sick park" a little too late.
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MRW I realise my friend didn't say "You betch-your ass theres-a park" a little too late.
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When I'm trying to hint to my tinder date that I'm into paraphilic infantilism
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MRW my sister-in-law introduces me and her biological brother to her friend, but doesn’t tell her friend which one is which
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MRW I see my neighbor just finished installing new windows on his house
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