Magnetic child
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can catch pens that are thrown at you, but only when you‘re not looking
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can cure crippled beggars of their handicap by violently slinging them out of a wheelchair
/r/shittysuperpowers
you can swim on the ground.
/r/shittysuperpowers
instead of shitting, you can shitpost and it'll dissapear.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You have the power to throw dead crabs at people.
/r/shittysuperpowers
Be able attract ALL mosquitoes to your house
/r/shittysuperpowers
The ability to destroy every minecraft ripoff ever using just a snap of your fingers.
/r/shittysuperpowers
Your hair always pops back to it’s original position
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can change people's gender using your dick
/r/shittysuperpowers
When you peel back your skin, (when intentionally done by you) it reveals a small void to store items. No healing boost.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can toss a jug of milk into a sewer to "hire" a milk goblin servant. More milk means more serving time.
/r/shittysuperpowers
Whenever you fall you land in this pose
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn your fingers into dicks at will
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can communicate via Cheeto in the hole in the floor
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can rearrange bananas
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn red after slipping in a puddle of blood
/r/shittysuperpowers
you can turn off stadium light when shooing away bugs
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can levitate cabbages.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can make people use Phones even when they're clearly not using
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can open various parts of your body, to reveal a functional mouth. Only one at a time.
/r/shittysuperpowers
Look, its elastacat
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can stop rendering yourself when no one is looking.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You get your own personal white noise for falling asleep, but it’s this.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You turn into a T-rex if your balls hurt
/r/shittysuperpowers
Your handshake turns straight people gay.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can make owls orgasm when you praise capitalism
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can taste TV signals.
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can turn into a little bit of forehead on a leg
/r/shittysuperpowers
You can summon an army of turtles.
/r/shittysuperpowers